D3 body, D1 cock
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Dick very happy bro
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Two words: nipple clamps
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