she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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