i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
