We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
