It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I smell like Dick and happiness
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
