I want to make a zoo with you.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
