careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
