you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
