I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
