i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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