you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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