Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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