Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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