may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
