even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
