im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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