Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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