lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
high people should be assigned attendants
time to smoke my breakfast
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Randomize
