drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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