just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
