Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
