i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
