i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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