He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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