check it out our google latitudes are spooning
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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