Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
