you guys were way drunker than both of me
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
