how do flat chested girls get laid?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize