we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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