I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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