Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
