Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
