Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
