I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
