Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
