It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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