either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
babies were throwing up all over the place
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
