who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
