K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
