The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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