What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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