I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Randomize
