Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
