Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
