She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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