Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
