I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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