belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Someone shit on the floor
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
