whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
