I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
