benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
