I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
