Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
