tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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