he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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