So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
