Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
