i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
