I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
