I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just blew my weed a kiss
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
