Please, let me fuck your mom
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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