oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
