Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
