You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
