remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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