filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
