When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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