I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
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