Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
