kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
